Reflections on Raindrops

Assalamu’alaikum..

The final 10 nights of Ramadhan is here, alhamdulillah.

Before I embark on this final journey, I would like to pen down my thoughts, leave all misgivings here, in this blog.

First and foremost, ana sedar bahawa ana serba kekurangan.

I have a long journey ahead of me and I really, really need to be reminded always, not to give up and fall back, insyaAllah. I need to learn to beautify my recitation, improve and build on akhlak, iman, taqwa and all things related, need to learn to cook more dishes, etc etc.. Be the ideal muslimah, insyaAllah. It’s a long road ahead, and sometimes I feel disappointed with myself and I’ll ask myself, Why am I such a failure in Allah’s cause? Why did I not put in enough effort? It’s not easy, but I’ll strive hard, insyaAllah. I just need lots and lots of guidance and motivation. There’s so much I wanna achieve. (Starting with beautifying my recitation, memorising the Qur’an, memorising Hadith, mastering the Arabic language..)

This week has been a stressful week, full of upsets. But alhamdulillah, I see lots of Blessings and divine Guidance. InsyaAllah, I’ll take it in stride and strive to be an even better individual.

Hmm, I feel so stifled at home whenever there’s a mess. I just have to tidy it up! But just hours later, someone would either start another mess at the same spot or ask for something which I had just thrown away (yet it had been abandoned for months).. I want my own house which I can keep neat and tidy…

You know, I love hadiths that mention about a man waking up his wife for night prayer, or man and wife praying together, with the man as imam. It’s a beautiful image in my mind. It has always been my dream.

Anyway, a beautiful excerpt from the Qur’an:

One day we shall see the believing men and believing women with their Light running before them and on their right, A glad tiding for you today, gardens underneath which rivers flow, therein ti abide forever. This is the supreme triumph.

On that day, hypocrites (Munafiqun), both men and women, shall speak unto those Believers: ‘Wait for us, Let us have light from your light.’ But they will be told: ‘Turn back and seek a light of your own.’ And thereupon a wall will be raised between them with a gate in it. Inside it will be mercy and outside the wall wil be suffering and punishment.

Those who will be outside will call out to those who would be inside. ‘Were we not with you?’ To which the others will answer: ‘Yes, indeed, but you allowed yourself to be tempted and you were hesitant and you were in doubt abd your wishful thinking deceived you until Allah’s command came to pass. For, indeed, the deceiver deceived you concerning Allah. And so, no ransom shall be accepted today from you and neither from those who disbelieved. Your abode is the fire. It is your only refuge, and how evil a journey’s end.’

Is it not the time that the hearts of all those who have believed should feel humbled at the remembrance of Allah and all of the truth that has been given to them, lest they become like those who were granted revelation before and whose hearts have hardened with the passage of time, so that many of them have now become inquisitors?

But, know that Allah gives life to the earth after it has been lifeless! We have, indeed, made Our Messages clear unto you, so that you might use your reason.

Verily, as for men and women who accept the Truth as true, and who offer up unto Allah a goodly loan, they will be amply repaid, and shall have a noble reward (in the Life to Come).

[Al Hadid 57: 12-18]

Salam Lailatul Qadr…